How we behave in a relationship and how we expect others to behave in relationships stems from a lot of different things. Our birth order, how we saw our parents interacting, our past romantic relationships, our friendships - old and new, how we interact with our colleagues, even how we talk to strangers. These are all things that shape us. These are also things that shape how people see us and how we see ourselves. And with how accessible social media is, it’s even more important to recognize what a true friend is versus an acquaintance. How much do you share? And realizing that your online persona is there for the world to see. Choosing what to share and with whom is important.
Women’s relationships with one another are important, too. How we talk about each other and about our own selves means a lot, and we need to set a good example. If our youth see us supporting one another and encouraging one another, that is what they will grow to do. The same can be said of negative behavior. If we see other women as a constant threat and to judge and turn on, that is what they will grow to do. If we are always being judgmental and talking about people behind their backs, that is what our kids will grow up to do. And they might not trust us because of this behavior.
Boundaries are important, too. What is acceptable for sharing with the world and what should be kept private is a conversation that we need to reflect on with ourselves and with our kids. Also setting physical, emotional and social boundaries is a key to creating healthy relationships with the people around us. Learning how to say no, which can be hard! A lot of these type of patterns are learned from the people we grew up with.
So, in honor of this big conversation, I have two things for you: A Top Ten & a Video. Enjoy!
TEN WAYS TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS
1. If it feels wrong, don’t do it. Even if making the right choice is harder. 2. Say exactly what you mean. You can be kind about it, but be clear with your
intentions and wants.
3. Don’t be a people pleaser all the time. It’s a job that will never end and will wear you down if you let it.
4. Trust your instincts. You’re usually right. 5. Never speak badly about your body. There are many things to appreciate about it.
6. Don’t be afraid to say ‘no.’ Sometimes saying ‘no’ requires strength. 7. Don’t be afraid to say ‘yes.’ Sometimes saying ‘yes’ requires bravery. 8. Be kind to yourself. If you make a mistake, own it and try better next time. 9. Let go of what you cannot control. Your emotional state will thank you. 10. Avoid drama and negativity. This goes for people and situations.